Norman’s tale of love, life and cookery has now concluded, and you can read the finished story online.
John has volunteered to begin the next project, which promises to be something ‘a little different’. We invite you to follow our progress, check out the Pie-O-Meter, and pitch in your comments.
Oh dear, the five-pie alert klaxon has just gone off in Twitcher Towers and woken Mr Tiddles from his lunchtime nap. Who hasn’t done their homework then?
On Wednesday night, Thatcham Writers met at the Mandarin Court for their annual Christmas feast. Martha S. Twitcher presided over the celebrations, accompanied by Mr Tiddles, but alas, no-one thought to bring a camera. Thus our only illustration is of Mr Tiddles (left) sampling the prize Christmas pie.
For pies were indeed on the agenda, despite the meal being one of the finest Chinese banquets Thatcham had to offer. Geoff, taking on the role of Entertainment Officer, devised an excellent game to divert us between the many splendid courses. Each of us were given a subject on which we had to sprinkle subtle references into the conversation, and a (suspiciously pie-shaped) prize was offered for correctly guessing the subjects at the end of the evening.
Dave got off to a flying start by showing an uncharacteristic interest in Chinese cooking methods. For someone with kitchen expertise restricted to knowing the location of the microwave, this was a bit of a giveaway, and he was swiftly exposed as a so-called ‘cooking expert’. Geoff was noticed making frequent references to sporting activities, while the rest of us forgot about it until halfway through the meal, when Anita suddenly asked if anyone was ‘doing their thing’.
Tony seemed to be talking about iPhones a lot, while Ian’s broadening of the scope of his subject area to include sex led us all down the garden path and back again. Anita’s long discussion about how to murder someone with nicotine patches gave rise to a number of incorrect guesses involving drugs and criminality. Lynda rabbitted on about television programmes all evening but nobody noticed any difference from her normal topics of conversation.
After much conviviality, chopstickery and consumption of wine, the evening finally came to an end with the prize pie being awarded to Lynda. The subjects turned out to be foodie, TV addict, sports fan, geek, health fanatic and DIY expert.
Martha has already forgotten the date of the next meeting, so would appreciate a reminder from anyone who was sober enough to write it down. And Mr Tiddles wishes to thank Lynda for generously donating him the prize pie.
To keep the Thatcham Writers’ website fresh and up-to-date, Martha has devised a forfeit system known as the Pie-O-Meter. The concept derives from pre-website days, when one of the Thatcham Writers had a bad experience with a pie in an unnamed local hostelry. It was decided that whoever did not complete their section of the story on time would have to eat several of these lovely, delicious pies. The online Pie-O-Meter shows one pie for every day that elapses since the story was last edited, up to a maximum of five pies. Anyone reaching the five-pie limit before taking their turn will be liable for a forfeit, to be determined by the group, which may or may not involve pies.
Death by Design now complete
Thatcham writers have finally completed Death by Design, a twisting tale of intrigue and disaster that follows the fortunes of six characters involved in a London fashion show. It wasn’t originally planned that death would feature in the story – in fact, we had a rule specifically prohibiting the killing off of characters – but old habits die hard. Ever since Janice was fatally mangled by the ship’s propeller in The Cruise, back in 2009, revenge killings have been rife in our collaborative fiction.
Halfway through the story, a new rule was also introduced requiring the inclusion of a random phrase chosen by the previous writer in the sequence. When someone came up with the phrase ‘the tree crashed down on top of the car, pinning her against the steering wheel’, it was really just asking for trouble.
If anyone can spot all the other random phrases, then you’re doing better than us.
You can read the story here in all its rambling glory. Our next project will be a science fiction story about teleportation and the end of the world. Martha has made the usual stipulations of ‘no killing off characters’ and ‘no sex scenes you wouldn’t want your mother to read’, but she realises it is probably futile. Nevertheless, she does have one particular request – that Mr Tiddles is NOT to be used for testing out the teleportation machine.
Check out the latest developments in the new story here.
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