The John O’Groats to Land’s End story ended this month, not at Land’s End, but at the offices of solicitors Dingle, Dangle and Dong in Exeter. As some participants elected to bring back their previously murdered characters from the dead to claim the prize, there was some confusion as to who actually won. And whether, indeed, there was a prize at all.

Ewan and Yvonne fared best out of the characters, featuring in two separate endings as joint winners. Agnes got a look-in in Geoff’s version, where the final prize-winners were selected by Alan Sugar. Mr Tiddles was fired for being an arse-licker (true), while his lordship’s Bentley was stolen by Wee Archie. Tony’s version ended with Ewan and Yvonne being presented with a large sealed blue and white vase, which immediately prompted the question ‘What’s inside?’ Texts and emails were dispatched to Tony in whatever far-flung corner of the world he was hiding, but he finally admitted that he didn’t know either. The seed for another story, maybe?

Ian’s ending saw the Thugg millions being snaffled from beneath the nose of Agnes by Mr Dingle, though we never got to find out whether he shared them with Dangle and Dong. Lynda, rather confusingly, had Simon Snodgrass returning from the afterlife to inhabit the form of Mr Tiddles’ alter ego, Dirk Vanderwilde. It had apparently been intended that Snodgrass/Vanderwilde would crash his sports car into the sea off Land’s End, taking the prize with him. But Lynda ran out of time to finish her piece, and his true destiny will never be known.

Finally, once again claiming the prize for brinksmanship, Dave gave us an ending in the traditional oral storytelling form (ie making it up as he went along). Fluffy the seagull, a hitherto little-known character who appeared briefly in early scenes in the seagull loft, came forward to wreak revenge on the man who had tamed him to his will. Seizing the prize in the name of the flock, he donated it to the founding of a home for abused seagulls. Ewan was left, with nothing but his tattered bird suit, to meditate on the error of his ways.

Our next meeting will be for the annual Christmas dinner. We await suggestions for the theme of the Christmas competition, with its magnificent prize of a Lindt Santa trophy and the opportunity to feel smug for a whole year.